There
by EyexLinerxWhore
Summary: One minute she was there. I could see her. The next minute she was in a foggy haze. I could feel her. The next minute she was gone. But she was there, wasn't she?
1. Chapter 1

**There**

Beer, vodka, whiskey, rum, friends and Cards Against Humanity was our night. She was there. She was smiling, laughing and drinking merrily. Skin tight jeans, tank top and an oversized flannel shirt. She was pressed against my side. There. Right next to me.

The glow from the tv casted a white-blue glow over her light olive complected skin. Restless sleep was upon her. She was there. I could see her. I could reach out and touch her. I hesitated before I ghosted my fingertips down her right arm. She stirred, slowly opening her tired eyes, but never turned to look at me. Her fingers brushed against mine before she got up to head to the bathroom.

The bright fluorescent light had to have temporarily blinded her, but I didn't hear her say anything; or do anything either. But she was there, wasn't she?

"Who are you? What are you doing?"

It wasn't anything but a small rumble of sound. Nothing that I could make out, but I already knew. She was gone.

"You alright in there?"

Silence.

She wasn't there anymore.

I walked in the bathroom to find her staring at herself in the mirror and her hands bracing the counter top. Dark bags under her almond shaped hazel eyes from lack of sleep. Her head dropped so that she was looking down at her hands.

"Are you okay?"

I had to ask. I already knew what the answer was going to be. I wanted her close. I needed her close. I wrapped my arms around her waist, under her arms. She slowly lifted her head, staring back into the mirror. Tired, but wet hazel eyes catching mine.

She finally registered I was holding her.

"I'm fine."

She tried to smile. She removed her hands from the counter top to place them on my arms, lightly running her fingers along them.

I'm not sure either of us believed that anymore.

She slept in the next day. I was worried. She was there. I could see her. I could feel her. But she wasn't there at all.

I didn't hear her approach me in the kitchen.

"You're going to leave me, aren't you?"

I jumped, startled at the sound of voice even though it wasn't even at all loud.

I was also dumbfounded. She stood there, waiting. I didn't have an answer.

"I wouldn't blame you if you did."

She spoke as if it weren't a big deal. She still waited, watching me.

I still didn't have an answer. There was no palpable tension. There was no electricity. We stood there staring at each other.

It was over.

She nodded ever so slightly and wiped at her face before she left as quietly as she came.

I followed.

"What are you doing?"

She stepped around me; or at least tried to.

"Look, stop."

She ignored me.

"STOP!"

"For what?"

Tears.

"Please don't cry. I hate seeing-"

"Do you? That's all I do. Cry and lay in this fucking bed." She threw the pile of clothes in her hands to the floor. "Are you finally done pretending like I'm not fucked up? Like you can fix me?"

She yelled and part of me was happy. There she was.

"Are you done trying?"

All of her steam was gone now. Those same tired, teary hazel eyes stared at me.

"I... I don't know what else to do. You're not broken, but I don't know how to help you anymore either."

I stepped closer to her, expecting her to move away, but she didn't.

"I love you."

It was just above a whisper before she captured my lips with hers.

There. That was her.

She went finished packing her bags without so much of another word to me.

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. Something deep down didn't settle with me. She had a habit of disappearing, but this was different. I called, texted, emailed, tweeted, direct messaged to get no response.

Then one day my phone rang. It was her.

"I was hoping I'd hear from you. Where have you been?"

"She's gone."

"Gone? Who is this? This isn't funny."

The line was silent for a second.

"It was a car accident. Trauma to her head. My parents took her off of life support."

Her brother.

"We're, uh, kind of triple teaming the calls and I know she'd want you at her funeral if you can make it."

He had hanged up long before I realized it.

She had never wanted a traditional funeral. No black, unless that's what suited you. And no shitty tears. She also never thought she had touched anyone's life in a way that mattered.

Everyone got the memo on the no black, but there were a lot of shitty tears.

That night, I thought my guilt was going to eat me alive. If I had made her stay, she'd still be here. It was that simple, right?

I woke up in haste.

"Easy! What's wrong?"

She dodged my flailing arm trying to calm me.

My eyes went wide.

"You're here."

"I could leave if you'd like."

"NO!"

"Jesus, what has gotten into you?"

"I'm sorry. I had a really fucked up dream."

I went on explaining.

"The beginning happened, but then we just went to sleep. I told you I was fucked up?"

"Yeah, just like that actually."

"I am, but you know that. Or I'm sure you've figured it out."

"I don't give a shit about that. We take care of each other mentally and physically..."

"Ever the horn dog."

Her chuckle was tinged with lust.

"I love you."

She smiled. She smiled and it lit up her whole face. It shined in her eyes. It showed in the light blush that colored her cheeks.

"I love you too."

There she was.


	2. Chapter 2

**There: Part 2**

Drinks with friends and Cards Against Humanity. I was pressed into the left side of my caramel Samoan and Italian Adonis. He was talking a sip from his bottle of beer, tipping it towards whomever he was talking to. I was focusing as much as I could on the side of his face. He truly was genetically blessed from his raven locks to his chocolate brown eyes that he insisted on wearing colored contacts over, down to his pouty lips that just needed to be kissed. Low buns, t-shirt and jeans. He was there. Right there next to me and only the gods and goddesses knew why.

I was restless as usual. Tossing and turning to get comfortable. Nothing was helping. Beating the shit out of the pillows, under the sheets and comforter, no comforter and just the sheet. Nothing. I just wanted to sleep, but I could feel the fog coming.

 _'DO NOT, let this get to you. Don't do this right now.'_

Even with his touch as light as a butterfly landing on a flower, I felt his fingertips against my arm. He was there. I brushed my fingers against his. It was the only way to let him know I knew he was there.

But it was already too late.

I walked to the bathroom and temporarily blinded myself with the white fluorescent light. I braced the counter, hanging my head before I looked up into the mirror.

The fog had arrived.

"Who are you? What are you doing?"

And I was gone.

"You alright in there?"

He was still there, but nothing came out of my mouth.

He came in the bathroom, keeping his brown eyes on me as I stood there looking between my hands bracing the countertop and my face in the mirror. Was that me? I couldn't focus on the mirror anymore, as my head and eyes both dropped to stare at my hands instead.

"Are you okay?"

He had to ask. He always did. His deep baritone voice was full of concern. Concern that I'm sure could be found in his chocolate orbs too.

I wanted to reassure him. I felt myself try to smile. I felt his muscular arms around my waist.

"I'm fine."

It was out of my mouth before I realized it. I lightly ran my fingers along his arms.

He loosened his grip on me and followed me out of the bathroom. I walked over to my side of the bed and got in. He turned the bathroom light off and joined me.

I leaned over him to grab the remote off of his side table and turned the tv off.

The room was as dark as I felt.

Then I felt him. There, pulling me into him. Legs and arms tangling, both of our heads sharing a pillow. Our breath mixing.

I felt his lips on my forehead.

Then nothing.

He was there holding me close, but he was asleep. I snuggled as close as I could before drifting off into another night of restless slumber.

I woke up before he did. I lied there facing him, admiring how peaceful he looked, until his handsome features contorted as if he were in pain.

I nudged him as I sat up, bunching the comforter and sheet around my hips, but he didn't respond.

I put my left hand on his right shoulder and shook him hard enough to earn a response.

He swung his arm upwards almost catching me in the face.

"EASY! What's wrong?"

I dodged his flailing arm trying to calm him.

His eyes went wide.

"You're here." He spoke as his brown eyes focused on me.

"I could leave if you'd like." I teased and actually managed a small playful smile.

"NO!" He said louder than he intended.

"Jesus, what has gotten into you?"

"I'm sorry. I had a really fucked up dream." He dragged his hand, first up then down, his face.

He went on explaining.

"The beginning happened, but then we just went to sleep. I told you I was fucked up?"

"Yeah, just like that actually." He had a crooked, small half smile on his face.

"I am, but you know that. Or I'm sure you've figured it out by now."

"I don't give a shit about that. We take care of each other mentally and physically..."

"Ever the horn dog." I teased as I lied back down facing him once again. My chuckle was tinged with lust.

I was staring at this beautiful man that was the sun in my life.

My sun was there, bright, warm and willing to burn the fog away.

"I love you." His voice was a low rumble in his chest, but very clear as he spoke. He used the knuckle of his right index finger to slightly tip my head up. My hazel eyes locked on his brown ones. He wanted me to know.

There he was. No prompt. No pretenses. No uncertainties.

I smiled. I smiled and it had to have lit up my whole face. It had to have shown in my eyes. I know it showed in the blush that I could feel in my cheeks.

He gave me a still slightly sleepy half smile.

"I love you too."

There he was.

I lightly stroked the side of his face, along his stubbly jaw line.

Then suddenly, he was everywhere; a beautiful tangle of his lips, hands, teeth, arms, legs and skin.

There in the heat. There in the afterglow. There in the warmth and comfort.

There we were.


End file.
